Meanwhile, the rag-tag heroes are accosted by a military faction of unknown Asian-descent.
BOOM, youre caught up!
May I be the first to welcome you toZ NationSeason 3.
Really, the two-hour season premiere didnt even try.
Instead, it opted for a flashback episode that chronologically takes place in the middle of season two.
We know that because Cassandra (Pisay Pao) is alive and well.
We open on a new villain with absolutely no hair.
From here on out, well refer to him as Evil Mr. Clean.
He threatens all of the survivors personal safety and kidnaps a boy to use as collateral.
They battle a horde of Zs over a pretty badass wild-west-themed opening credits and rescue the child.
Obviously, their good-guy instincts kick in and they agree to help.
The peak what the hell moment came when the zombified Cassandra breast fed Murphys hybrid zombie baby.
Theres a lot going on folks.
Its revealed that the bad men are with Zona.
Although the episode opened with some gritty realism, the fight wasnt necessarily steeped in reality.
As Doc eloquently says:
Theyre mercy proof?
However, it does reveal a larger problem with this show.
It obviously isnt interested in making a show that takes itself too seriously.
If you want to show zombies heads getting blown off, Ill watch.
You dont also need to go up your own backside with Sharknado-esque, in-on-its-own-joke-so-you-cant-make-fun-of-it camp.
The end result of the chaos was that Evil Mr. Clean won.
He captured Dr. Teller in the battle and managed to kill everyone that wasnt a main character.
He takes them via helicopter that he apparently had the whole time to Zona.
Plot-wise, it was a two-hour waste of time.
We even knew which characters would make it out alive.
Sure, we met a handful of new friends, but theyre already dead so why bother?
After all theres always next week.
