Bad cinema doesn’t have to be this bad, but it’s more fun that way.
He always ended with That wasnt very good was it?
My kids run from the room when I ask if they want to watch cheesy horror.
They know I take it seriously, even though I watch them as comedies.
Unlucky Charmswas directed by Charles Band, best known for thePuppet MasterandSubspeciesmovies series.
The screenplay was by Kent Roudebush and August Whit and some of it is almost kind of funny.
They obviously dont worry about color coordination.
She runs a kind of a runway academy contest on Reality TV.
Unlucky Charmsopens up in a world that looks like a bowl of cereal before you pour the milk.
Purple skies and redheaded leprechauns.
Stars and horseshoes, blue moons, pots of gold, rainbows and red balloons.
A creepy little girl sits with her dapper little friend looking at an empty swing set.
I know shes supposed to be a cute little kid, but shes just creepy to me.
Masuimi Max under the headlight glare of the Cyclops mines some deep method of B-movie acting.
Ad content continues below
B movie acting is a style, like sitcom and soap opera acting.
It is taught in schools and seminars, but it is usually taught on set.
Low budgets stop after the first take the actors get through without fucking up.
They have to or else they will go over budget.
Video low budgets dont worry so much about acting fuckups.
This is clearly Farr Darrigs movie, hes got the trademark on the cereal and the Magically Malicious slogan.
He is a makeup disaster with glue on his scabby face.
Here hes a jokester with a conscience.
He has to do DeeDees bidding, but hes not happy about it.
The other munchkins are pretty much happy just jumping on the models.
OConnell was inThe Bachelor, Cruel Intentions, SlidersandDude Wheres My Car.
Seth Peterson fromBurn NoticeandProvidence, plays the gay assistant.
He says what he thinks everyones thinking.
The four acting actors have hammy, cheese eating fun.
Mike Diva (Kill the Noise Part 1, PROXY: A Slender Man Story) plays the photographer.
The five contestants are played by a variety pack of eye candy.
Max was a fetish model, she also ate a bug onFear Factor.
Masuimi Max is also a fire performer and is called on to add heat to movies.
InUnlucky Charms, shes got the over-the-topless scene.
Nikki Leigh plays the model-wannabe who is obsessed about her weight.
Her one big fear is gaining weight.
Alex Rose Wiesel (Raisin Junior, The Love Triangle, So Random!
)is the one who want to win the most.
Shes insulting, nasty, undermining and back-stabbing.
Unlucky Charmsis hammy, bad-horror fun.
Its not scary and it doesnt do anything new, it doesnt even do anything new for Charles Band.
Its exactly what it is.
It doesnt make a run at be anything more.
As Dan Ackroyd would gleefully say, that wasnt very good, was it?
It doesnt have to be.
Were not watching it for the goods, but for the goodies.
AndGoogle+, if thats your thing!
Rating:
2 out of 5
