We begin our countdown of the finest movies of Mr Steven Seagal…
I love Steven Seagal films.
I think thats an important thing to state here.
This isnt a sarcastic, snarky piece.
This is all high fives and hi-ya!s.
Look, I kind of get it.
Steven Seagals films do have common aspects that you might expect to see.
Still, though, I love these films.
I love that I can spot the same elements.
I love that he always plays a tough guy with a secretive military background.
I love it when he goes an entire film without getting hit.
I love it when he becomes ultraviolent.
I love it when he goes to a strip club (so, so often).
I love it when he wrecks a convenience store.
His movies are fun to watch and I take legitimate pleasure from watching them.
Theres an argument for doing it either way, but Ive chosen to do it this way.
Thats why youll not seeMachete,Executive Decisionand the like.
Ive ranked films here based on how much I like them.
Below youll find the lowest five entries.
I may not entirely love this five.
Mostly straight to DVD films, these ones are likely to appeal to hardcore fans only.
Out for a Kill
Out for revenge.
Steven Seagal IS Professor Robert Burns, an archaeologist with a shady past.
Now, nothing will satisfy him but brutal, violent vengeance.
Steven Seagal IS…Out for a Kill.
Now, youll absolutely have some fun withOut for a Kill, but its a mess.
The special effects are dreadful; bad ideas that look cheap and unconvincing.
Fortunately, the tone is light and the silliness passes as good fun.
There are a couple of great fight scenes, too.
Obviously, Seagal smashes him to pieces regardless.
Shadow Man
Either youre with him… or youre dead!
Steven Seagal IS Jack Foster, a loving father and dangerous martial artist.
Who does he have to fight?
Well, it seems no one can be trusted.
The police, the CIA, local drug dealers, gangsters, his own father in law.
So he just fights the lot of them.
Theyd all do well to stay in the light when Steven Seagal is a…Shadow Man.
Shadow Manhas some problems.
It has too many characters and no clearly defined big bad.
The story doesnt really make sense.
The script insists that every third line of dialogue Seagal speaks is I just want to find my daughter.
Its too slow and we get a really clear look at Seagals doubles on occasion.
Theres some fun stuff in there too, though.
Exit Wounds
What can two men do against a gang of crooked cops?
Problem is,Exit Woundsreally isnt very good.
Its just a very dull film.
He also cant help but feel that her father isnt telling him everything.
The Keeperis all right.
A low budget straight to video action film, it keeps things simple.
The Foreigner: Black Dawn
Its always darkest before dawn.
Steven Seagal IS Jonathan Cold.
Everyone seems to want the bloody thing and theyre all willing to kill to get it.
Black Dawnis a significant improvement overThe Foreigner.
He taught me everything I know.
Part 2 of the top 25 Steven Seagal films?
you’re free to find that on the site tomorrow…
