For better or worse, The Shannara Chronicles turns into your average MTV soap opera in its fourth episode.
The Shannara ChroniclesSeason 1, Episode 4.
ThisThe Shannara Chroniclesreview contains spoilers.
In my opinion, cheez whiz is gross.
If Im craving cheese, Ill go for the real stuff.
Im not a fan of artificial cheese flavored things such as Cheetos and cheesy puffs.
(Sorry, Kraft singles dont count as real cheese to me either.
Not sure where Velveeta stands yet.)
In summary: cheez whiz is unholy, as it has made me nauseous on multiple occasions.
Therefore, I dont eat it.
Ad content continues below
What does cheez whiz have to with this episode ofThe Shannara Chronicles?
And if that wasnt palatable enough for me, its also expired.
Pretty looking teenagers hanging out at aLord of the Ringsconvention, having vaguely familiarReal Worldproblems.
Like love triangles, obviously.
And cat fights about said love triangles.
And holy campaign quests to revive an ancient massive tree god.
If thats not exciting enough for you, just wait until they takeThe Challengeagainst theRoad Rulescrew.
You may have noticed that I dont sound too enthusiastic about theShannarathis week.
In my defense, have you actually watched this episode?
Im assuming you have.
You saw what I saw, correct?
I want to confirm were on the same page here.
One cant ignore the impression that this was a cheaply made episode.
Speaking of which, guess what?
Wil slept with freaking Eritrea!
Can you believe it?
After all hes been through with Amberle…
The nerve of that half-breed!
Why does Eritrea have to elfblock her?!
Amberles life is like so hard, by the way.
Being an elven princess perpetually dressed up inHunger Gamesfetish gear is taxing on the soul.
At least she passed the Ellcryss big test without dying.
Simple enough, right?
Thats why this show exists, after all.
Who are you rooting for, by the way?
Team Elf or Team Rover?
(Off the record, Im Team Rover, because shes passionate and does fierce Emperor Palpatine cosplay.)
(In my book, this is a good thing.)
The changeling stabs a random dude through the head.
Weve met our quota for over-the-top gore in this episode.
Eritrea infiltrates Arborlon and brings the house down like Tila Tequila at a church bake sale.
You know, those blue things.
(Because what youreactuallythinking of arent blue anymore.)
Allanon is not coming along, as she didnt see him in her vision.
Apparently the tree didnt invite him?
Thats okay, because hes looking pretty bored lately.
Guess he needs another magic nap.
This makes an impressively glossy TV show look shoddy in the process.
Yet thats what happens if you force your actors to chew scenery: theyll leave noticeable bite marks.
You should follow Stephen on Twitter @OnlyWriterEver.
Hell follow you back.
Also, check outhis siteand his secretPower Ranger tumblr, too.
Rating:
2 out of 5
