Rob Zombie gets his wife naked again in The Lords of Salem….
There are certain things that let you know you are watching a Rob Zombie movie.
It is a fair point, considering the script is no help.
Yet, this time is different.
She has dreadlocks and more tattoos.
He also shows her front side as well.
Thats really stretching the creative muscle.
No, he battled and (uncharacteristically) burned at the stake real covenants who worshipped Satan.
The most horrid of these hags was a singular covenant he named the Lords of Salem.
This is, by the way, the first five minutes.
A lengthy scene of naked old women dancing around fire is about the height of the movies horror.
Despite some disturbing imagery,The Lords of Salemhas all the terror of a Mastodon album cover.
Unfortunately, that revelation amounts to little more than the horrific knowledge that this movie is plotless.
The real horror auteur being mined here is Roman Polanski.
The only actual character proactively doing anything before the final 15 minutes is Bruce Davison as Francis Matthias.
The intrepid researcher eventually figures out that Heidi is in danger because she is a descendant of Hawthorne.
This may explain why generations of students have been placed in long dazes from his work.
Of course, Davison is as sidelined as the other horror legends appearing in this film.
Zombie is a talented filmmaker.
After five films, that also is no longer new.
Rating:
1 out of 5
