Nothing means more than blood.
That summarizes the entire daunting labyrinth they callThe Texas Chainsaw Massacreseries in more than one way.
CanTexas Chainsaw 3Dlive up to the long shadow of its revered kin or is it merely another black sheep?
Whether out of convenience or artistry, Hoopers visual approach of long, sustained wide shots worked out brilliantly.
That means he is also a bit outside of what became slasher convention.
True, Leatherface is a simple-minded brute serial killer, but he loves cooking for his family.
The fact that Leatherface is cooking human body parts for them is incidental.
He just wants to play the role of mother to his all-male family.
Leatherface even wears dresses and puts lipstick on his human flesh-mask.
Its the little things that count when it comes to Southern hospitality!
At least inThe Texas Chainsaw Massacreuniverse.
Half the teens Leatherface kills die because they interrupt him making Sunday supper.
Surprisingly, Lionsgate opted to leave behind the glossy remake franchise begun by Producer Michael Bay in 2003.
It is a bit surreal to seeThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 3D.
It seems the cross-dressing chef is going to take the fall for his suddenly large family.
The only seeming survivor is a baby who grows up to be the present(?
)Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario).
The group even picks up aTexas Chainsaw Massacre-staple hitchhiker (Shaun Sipos).
If you had to guess, you might figure out what happens to most of these characters.
Speaking of old time,Texas Chainsaw 3Dclearly begins in 1974.
Yet, Heather is about 20 in the rest of the film, which features iPhones and modern cars.
Clearly were not supposed to put too much thought intoTexas Chainsaw 3Dsplot because the writers didnt.
The main characters are not developed and theyre only there to be skewered.
It also seems the random time jump has left Leatherface disgruntled.
Still, I want to give some credit toTexas Chainsaw 3Dfor thinking outside the box.
Despite dropping massacre from its title,Texas Chainsaw 3Dis truly a bloodbath.
And Ill admit that I chuckled when the chainsaw came out of the screen, more than once.
But to my genuine surprise,Texas Chainsaw 3Dgets through its splatter checklist remarkably fast.
Halfway through the story,Texas Chainsaw 3Dshifts gears to a tale of two families.
To Heather and the audiences astonishment, the blood feud between the Sawyers and Hartmans cannot be underestimated.
As it turns out, angry Rednecks are scarier than an aging transvestite with a chainsaw.
I cannot in good conscious recommendTexas Chainsaw 3D.
Daddario is currently rumored to have landed the juicy lead role inFifty Shades of Grey.
Despite these shortcomings, I would be lying if I saidTexas Chainsaw 3Disnt entertaining.
Leatherface, for the first time in ages, is not the true villain of the story.
Hes just a simple-minded child who obediently kills.
However,The Texas Chainsaw Massacreis scary andTexas Chainsaw 3Dis anything but.
