We went down to see how Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows was being made.
This is what happened… Ive written for Den of Geek since 2007.
I was having to try so hard and was being overly cynical.
I decided that wasnt what I wanted to contribute.
Since then, Ive felt like me when Im writing.
My new approach didnt mean Id only write nice things about films.
It meant that Id be excited.
Another thing Id decided to do was to take more time to celebrate the things that I love.
Its one of the best decisions Ive ever made.
In the morning I was going to the set of aTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesfilm.
What a ridiculous, improbable and magnificent situation I found myself in.
It was surreal and wonderful and I made a mental note to appreciate every single second of it.
Id only received the schedule for the visit when Id checked into the hotel.
With a list of probable interview subjects, I had prep to do.
The following morning I staggered out into the streets of New York in search of coffee.
Successful, I made it back to the hotel where they herded all of us writers onto a bus.
The drive to the set took the best part of an hour.
I tried to take in the view of the city while I jigged restlessly in my seat.
They were shooting in an armoury in Brooklyn; imagine two warehouses joined together.
The first, where we entered, was a functioning workshop.
I caught a peek through a walkway and gasped it was the lair!
Its a stunningly elaborate set and would prove to be the focus of our visit.
But first, vehicles.
In the first movie, we got a brief look inside the Turtles van.
In this one, well get to spend some time in the Turtles truck.
There are actually two trucks; one used for external shots and one for filming inside.
We were gathered around the latter.
It had no windscreen and the surface of the wing mirrors was covered in a blue material.
It was here that I spotted a detail, the kind of detail I kept finding all day.
The interior was really fun.
Its almost like Doctor Whos TARDIS.
Thats what we tried to achieve inside the Turtle van.
Inside the van is a cramped, colourful, overloaded space, all neon excitement and youthful hyperactivity.
I could see that being the case.
There are manuals for Sega CD games, aGuitar Heroinstrument controller and even a light gun for the NES.
Can the Turtles get their fingers into the loopy bit to use the trigger?
Are they any good atDuck Hunt?
What on Earth was I doing here with all these professional journalists?
Anyway, for bragging rights I sat on the sofa in the Turtle truck.
The Turtles sleeping area, unsurprisingly, features a good deal of colour coding.
The water that flows through the lairs grey concrete moat is an eye-catchingly bright blue.
That water leads us around the lair.
The waters warm (I dipped my fingers in as I had basically lost all control).
Its powerful enough to take a person off their feet, were told and not shown.
Everyone wants to go down the water slide.
I do hope they were able to.
As is the way of some set visits, much of the day is spent waiting for interviews.
In the interviews, everyone spoke of the sewer lair set with an awed enthusiasm.
Its a perfect analogy for this film.
The lair in the first film, it was great.
It could fit in one half of the lair that we have now.
The entire film is doing that.
I dont know why she would want to live anywhere else.
Megan Fox or not, I quite fancied staying there, too.
It was about a 12-week build Martin Laing told us.
But we ended up doing it in 10 due to scheduling and moving things around.
Its not just the building of the set but the engineering thats involved.
Then its getting all that approved by Michael Bay at his amazing house in Hollywood, in Bel-Air.
Our exploration of the space led us to the kitchen.
At the table, everyones chair is personalized with marker pen.
We then moved into the bedroom area.
Each of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has a sleeping area.
Leos bed has a wheel of swords over it.
Rage case Raphael gets the top bunk, obviously, and theres an American flag draped over his bed.
Next to little brother Mikeys bottom bunk is a small collection of musical instruments.
The most impressive sleeping area, though, is Donatellos.
Martin Laing took particular pleasure in describing it to us.
His space is a nerdy, techy wonderland.
As well as gadgets, Donatello also has a dancing hula girl toy.
Goodness me, I wanted to play with the weapons.
I somehow managed to restrain myself.
To a degree, at least.
hey dont tell Paramount, but I touched one of Raphaels sai.
Alright, I touched one of each weapon.
Seriously though, guys; snitches get stitches.
The Turtles truck, the one used for external shots, was parked up in the middle of it.
Before long I found myself taking a final walk around the set, as the time to depart approached.
I suppose Id better get to that.
Right, there was this giant pipe.
In person, the pipe was amazing.
It was so huge and detailed and its crazy that people built this thing for set dressing.
Whats making you think its interesting?
Just keep an eye out for this big pipe in the Turtles lair in the new movie.
Its a dead good fake pipe.
On the bus back to the hotel, I considered what this write up was going to be.
There is an element of futility to it.
Especially the pipe bit.
So is the new van.
It had been an exhausting day, but it had been a good day.