You have been warned.
Scroll below the spoiler squirrel at your own risk…
So withone final warning for major, major plotspoilers,here goes.
Ryan Lambie:The first 40 minutes or so, I thought it barely put a foot wrong.
The pace of it was lovely.
I liked the way it made Stormtroopers seem ruthless and evil again.
Torching a village… minimal use of Max Von Sydow, but good use, I thought.
John Moore:Yeah.
There were all sorts of rumours that he had a backstory, that he was an interesting character.
I never really knew him.
RL:Maybe well find out more about his story in the novels or comics or something.
JM:It even mentions him in the title crawl: an old friend.
It was like a big red herring.
How did he come across the map?
I thought he was going to be like Lobot or something like that.
They didnt take the obvious route.
RL:Thats an interesting point: where did the map to Luke Skywalkers location come from?
I didnt get why it was a jigsaw puzzle.
Like, the rest of the map was in R2-D2.
It wasnt as tightly scripted as Id have thought.
RL:Especially in the latter stages.
Like the question to Maz: How did you get hold of Lukes lightsaber?
Thats a story for another time…
JM:Yeah!
Its like, No, its not, actually.
Lets talk about it now.
You wanted somebody to say that!
This is quite important.
How did you get that lightsaber?
RL:I think some of the most effective scenes were the ones with Kylo Ren.
JM:Oh my God, Adam Driver was fantastic.
Him and [Daisy] Ridley in that scene together.
Id have sat and watched them talk that out for hours.
The moment he took his mask off was fantastic.
I wasnt as big a fan as you were of the voice.
RL:I thought they tried to do something different with the way he sounded.
There was a kind of insinuating tone to the way he talks.
But actually, the bits that were the best were the ones that gave you insight into his character.
JM:Like him wrecking the room.
The twist on the old Youve failed me for the last time scene we always had with Darth Vader.
Youre expecting drone number 217b to be killed you know, Force choked to death.
And instead, Ren smashes his room up in a teenage fit of rage, basically.
He rips up his Duran Duran posters.
Weve seen that before.
JM:Yeah, yeah.
And Ren stopping the laser bolt at the beginning was just awesome.
RL:Id almost forgotten about that.
And I sort of thought, Eh, thats a weird shot.
But then you see it in the context of the film, he stops the laser blast.
Weve never seen anything quite like that inStar Warsbefore.
JM:What was interesting was, I passed off Kylo Rens spluttering lightsaber as, Hes a wannabe.
RL:But I think thats right.
I think its true.
JM:But hes really powerful!
His Force ability is really powerful.
I never saw Vader stop a laser bolt.
Is he more powerful than Vader?
RL:I think its different.
Perhaps hes not so much a wannabe as just scattershot.
RL:Its like he hasnt yet completed his training, you know?
JM:Like, he can do it when hes not thinking about it.
Hes at Lukes stage inEmpire.
We see Luke retrieve his lightsaber so he can chop the arm off the Wampa and save himself.
But obviously, he cant yet lift an X-wing.
Its something like that, maybe.
RL:What did you think about Han Solos death?
I felt it wasnt quite earned.
It felt like something thrown in.
It wasnt a sacrifice.
RL:I think that was the problem.
It felt a bit senseless.
JM:It was as though he was suckered.
I know the one thing that Han wouldnt be is suckered.
And we hadnt spent enough time with Ren and Solo to understand what was going on.
Did he let it happen?
RL:It was tragic, I suppose, because this was Hans last-ditch attempt to save his son.
And the gambit didnt work.
JM:It was a sucker punch, wasnt it?
It makes you wonder how many of the rumours came from the Michael Arndt script.
[…] I guess what I wanted was a call back toEmpirewhere Chewies stroking his hair.
I wanted something a bit more emotional.
RL:That was a problem, wasnt it?
He just fell off the platform.
He fell out of the film.
RL:We dont know the full story, though.
Ren called Solo spineless and weak.
Maybe he and Leia really were bad parents.
Maybe Kylo Ren actually has a really good reason to hate everybody and smash up his bedroom.
JM:I know what they wanted, which is that its cold.
You die alone, this kind of thing.
I just wanted a bit more.
I wanted something like, Tell your mother I love her, and someone to say, She knows.
Whatever, something along those lines.
I dont feel like I got enough of the daddy son thing for that to really resonate.
RL:He didnt get a proper goodbye, its true.
RL:This is the thing, isnt it?
He called him grandfather.
JM:I will finish what you started, grandfather.
RL:Maybe its the whole First Order version of the history books.
Maybe they wrote that whole bit out with Darth Vader turning good.
The only people who know that are Luke and whoever he told, his fellow rebels.
Maybe its like North Korea, where they only know the version of history handed down to them.
JM:Okay, yeah.
RL:That was the interesting thing, wasnt it?
When Captain Phasmas talking about Fin, someone asks, Has he been for reconditioning?
And he says, Its only his first offence.
So they dont have clones, but they do have mind control.
JM:Yeah, someone threatens to bring the clone army in.
But thats when it had time to breathe.
There are missing bits.
Mainly Maz.Where she goes I have no idea.
Unless I got wrapped up and I missed it.
But it was actually Leia turning up instead.
So they completely glossed over where Maz went.
She just disappears for the second half of the movie.
What seemed to be set up as a main character…
RL:Shes on the poster!
JM:Its little more than a cameo, really.
RL:Shes in it less than General Hux, and he didnt make the poster.
JM:Missing bits.
Random, missing bits.
What happened to Maz handing over the lightsaber [the scene in the trailer]?
RL:Maz going on about the eyes in the trailer.
There was a whole thing about Maz being clairvoyant, being able to see things with her special eyes.
That didnt come into it other than when she looked at Fin and said, Youre running away.
JM:Im interested to see the cut scenes.
She just disappears off the face of the film.
She has that key scene to… who does she give it to?
Im trying to remember now.
RL:She gave it to Han Solo, then he gave it to Finn.
JM:How does he know how to light it?
RL:He just knows.
How he knows Im not sure.
Maybe old legends explain how they work.
JM:But she just disappears.
RL:Something changed, definitely.
Like you were saying earlier, there seem to be fewer planets in this version.
The whole thing seems to have been streamlined to a certain degree.
Like you were saying about the tentacled creatures that would have swung through the trees.
JM:Yeah, there were artists impressions of how theyd been described.
And theyre swinging from trees.
Clearly a call back.
JM:It had to be a call back.
It didnt go for the whole Indiana Jones grabbing his hat, but it was definitely a little riff.
JM:The Starkiller base I didnt get a sense of scale.
They even went to the trouble of showing how its size compares to the Death Star.
RL:That was a very funny bit.
JM:But it still didnt give me a feeling [of scale].
It gave Han Solo a funny line, Ill give it that.
That was a good little comic bit.
RL:Its telling that they had to actually show you a diagram, isnt it?
They couldnt let the power of it [the Starkiller base] just speak for itself.
It wasnt much, but I liked that it could fire a series of beams at different planets.
That was quite cool, but…
JM:They didnt really explain it.
JM:The Starkiller was largely extraneous to the plot.
Its like you said earlier aboutEmpireand the I am your father moment.
If you imagine I am your father in the middle of the Hoth scene.
It would have been too much.
Its two big climaxes.
JM:Maybe thats whats missing in the Han Solo scene.
It comes in the middle of a big action scene.With the Starkiller base, there were no stakes.
Wed seen some extras get blown up.
But why were they firing on those planets?
What was the point?
Today we will destroy the Republic.
RL:I think it goes back to what we said about it not being rooted in the personal.
JM:Its the only link shes got to whoever dumped her there, whoever shes waiting for.
RL:It would be like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru dying, wouldnt it?
Even though its a minimal connection, but its better than just randomly blowing up four planets.
A better option than the one they took.
JM:I want my Luke Skywalker money back…
Right, heres a weird thing.
The whole of the Resistance, including his sister, have been searching for Luke Skywalker for 30 years.
Who do they send?
The strange girl they barely know and the Wookiee.
It didnt make sense.
RL:You know what I think?
It would make sense if Luke is Rens father, and then Leia might say, Hes your father.
You should go and meet him.
For whatever reason, maybe theyve held that back.
Thats something to string out for the next one.
JM:It makes no sense for Rey to go off and find Luke at the end.
RL:Leias his sister!
Why wouldnt she go?
Shed want to go to tell him about Han, his old friend.
JM:There are bits missing.
There were ellipses in that story.
We can keep some of this back.
RL:Mystery box!
JM:Mystery box.
There was no mystery to the Ren thing.
They blew that straight away.
RL:Snoke said it first, I think.
JM:Yeah, yeah he did.
JM:Thats exactly it.
Some stranger just turns up with a lightsaber.
Maybe he knows who she is.
RL:Hes foreseen that she would come.
JM:The whole journey of Rey was very well done.
That would have been a great scene.
RL:It would have made perfect sense.
JM:But theres an ellipsis.
JM:I dont think so.
He appears as a hologram.
Could be, though.
RL:Maybe he just likes appearing big to intimidate people.
I still hope it turns out hes Darth Plagueis.
What do you thinks going to happen next?
JM:Is Lukes planet going to be the new Dagobah in the next film?
RL:Yeah, unless Rey convinces him to leave.
JM:Well, why did he leave and let Kylo Ren run riot?
Why isnt Luke kicking Kylo Rens ass is what I want to know.
There has to be back story.
Why is Luke hiding?
RL:Luke trained Kylo Ren and then Ren turned to the Dark Side.
Its guilt, thats what I think.
Something tragics happened; maybe his wife was killed, the Jedis were killed, and hes banished himself.
Hes put himself in exile.
Maybe he thinks nobody should have the Force.
JM:But why would he leave an unbalanced Force?
RL:Hes left Ren to run amok, hasnt he?
Its the old saying, All evil men need to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
Han tried to explain it, but it didnt really seem satisfactory to me.
Weve got to see more of that scene with R2-D2.
What else is R2 hiding?
JM:If thats the truth, is there still a Mrs Skywalker?
Is that the next movie…?
JM:It was a lot of fun.
What can I say?
Its aStar Warsmovie.Star Warsmovies are meant to be fun.
it’s possible for you to pick it to pieces forever, which we have, but even so.
JM:Exactly, and you could with the originals.
Why didnt they blow up the escape pod?
Blah, blah, blah.
But Abrams is the ultimate safe pair of hands.
In general, theres nothing wrong with this film.
Considering the poisoned chalice this is…
RL:Its a career-ender, isnt it?
If you mess aStar Warsmovie up, you dont walk away from that.
It doesnt matter who you are as a director, you dont really walk away from that.
JM:Not even George Lucas has walked away!
JM:Its a potential career-ender, yeah.
HasThe Force Awakensdone enough to be the biggest movie ever?
RL:I think its in with a shout.
If enough people will do that, more casual cinema-goers will go along as well.
JM:Id happily put my name to it.
But for me, its not a five star film.
RL:I keep changing my mind.
JM:Ive sat through comedies and laughed far less than that.
But how much of that is riffing on the language we know really well?
Its like Space Balls.
Its easy to makeStar Warsjokes when you know it well.
But even the bits that werentStar Warsreferences work really well.
The bit where Poe goes to Ren, Who talks first, me or you?
RL:There were enough bits like that to show that the filmmakers actually had imagination.
They werent just relying on call-backs.
JM:And it kicks him out of the way… that was great.
That was what I mean about the new characters showing the old ones up.
RL:It felt as though they brought them back because they had to.
JM:I think theyll slowly disappear.
Itll be interesting to see what theyre going to do with Luke.
JM:You know whats amazing?
We went into a movie knowing next to nothing about Luke, and weve come out knowing nothing!
RL:Unless they do some prequels.
JM:Prequels to the sequels after the prequels?
Prequels to the sequels of the originals and the prequels?
Star Wars: The Force Awakensis out now in UK cinemas.
