William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy lead the Star Trek crew on a quest to rescue some whales.
Yep, it’s Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home…
Star Trek IVremains the oddity of theTrekfilms.
Yes, aStar Trekcomedy.
But let us not forget that this is William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy were talking about here.
Thats not why everyone remembers it though.
No,The Voyage Homewill forever be the one where they go to the 80s to get some whales.
Its a light-hearted movie that effectively begins with trillions of people coughing up their own pancreas.
I realise that by putting it that way Im making the film sound weirder than it actually is.
Thus,The Voyage Homeaccidentally createdStar Trek: The Next Generation.
Paramounts first choice for Kirks love interest was Eddie Murphy.
And to think that in 1986 we could have seenTreks first interracial gay time travelling sex scene.
Ah well, we can only hope.
Interesting note: Eddie Murphy also turned downGhostbusters.
Just think, we could have had aGhostbusters/Trekcrossover.
The last step was to bridge the film to the widerStar Trekstoryline.
This is the civilised 23rd century after all, no eye for an eye here.
As such, much of the philosophy that definesTrekis absent.
Im as conflicted as the film is about its message.
Is that really the message were supposed to take away?
The fact that I do take this away means that, as philosophicalTrekgoes, this one has problems.
Theres only so far you’re able to water down a message.
Not all comedies, but the broad appeal, PG rated comedies generally starring Steve Guttenberg.
The kind that didnt really have any jokes in but were somehow supposed to be funny.
Star Trek IVis a film that pretty much has no jokes.
Theres setup, theres characters playing off each other, but theres no payoff.
Just situations that might make you smile, and the occasional Spock one liner.
Nimoy would go on to directThree Men And A Baby, a film Im certainly ambivalent about.
Its funny because they dont know how to take care of a baby!
I think there was a moustache involved.
The point is, I cant remember much about it, because its so insubstantial.
And I dont enjoy those films.
Unless theres some sort of edge, some interesting hook, I cant get excited.
First film, Steve Guttenberg teaches a robot to tell bad jokes.
That kind of stuff gets my interest.
I think I might need help.
Yet if this werent aTrekfilm, Id probably think much better of it.
I need to explain that otherwise youll wonder why Im being such a double dumbass.
Onto the film in more detail, then.
To be fair, it does sound like a rejected score for a 70s sitcom.
It also sounds like someones getting married.
Stop toying with me, film, I already know that Shatner and Murphy dont get it on.
It doesnt even sound like any of the other films, even in a series with little musical continuity.
It also liberally borrows from Rosenmans other works, including Ralph BakshisLord Of The Rings.
And to think, only two films ago people were borrowingStar Trekmusic, not the other way around.
Probably should say something nice.
Okay, I like the font.
The opening itself, however, is much more effective.
For all Im not the fan many are of the comedy bits, the sci-fi stuff is great.
There are also the Klingons.
Finally, theres Spock.
He doesnt feel emotions, but hes half human so he should.
So theres the setup.
Its good: the setup is quite clever in bringing all the pieces together.
The meat of the film though?
It makes the stargate sequence from2001seem accessible.
Bad: Learning to swear like only a Trekkie can.
Dont try and fool me into thinking Kirk doesnt know how to use colourful metaphors.
Get him in bed and I bet he swears like a ginned up 50 year old dock worker.
Good: The crew are endearingly awkward.
Bad: The heavy handed killing whales is bad bit.
Good: Kirk creates a time paradox to make money.
I dont care if he cant say nuclear vessels, he cant even say diplomatic incident.
The whole subplot is daft.
They need to rekerfooble the dilithium crystals and the solution is high energy photons.
In other words, x-rays and gamma rays.
Just hold the thing up to the sun!
Good: The glue on Shatners toupee is incredible.
Just look at it naturally blowing in the wind.
Bad: Transparent aluminium can hold a whale tank but cant withstand rain?
The future is an idiot.
And if Scotty can make the tank with acrylic, why doesnt he just use that?
Why does he take the formula for transparent aluminium to a plastics manufacturer?
Surely somewhere that actually deals with aluminium would be better?
80s comedies sacrificing plausibility for laughs, then not bothering with the laughs.
Good: Sulu seduces a pilot.
No one can resist that man.
After these hijinks, its time to go back to the future.
Which is a bit of a shame, because as a trilogy, the end is a let down.
After all the crew have been through, youd expect theyd be in a different place at the end.
That there would be some sort of growth.
Ultimately, its a bit of fluff, where nothing really matters and nothing really changes.
