This article comes fromDen of Geek UK.
Ruins pub quiz questions such as How many actors have played M?
due to the inevitable argument whether Edward Fox should be numbered.
And with much less swimming thanThunderball.
The Villain:Ignore Emilo: Maximillian Largo is his own maniac.
Short, tubby, lanky blond hair receding, Largo is Draco Malfoy gone to seed.
Easily visualized shuffling around Comic Con, accompanied by Mr. Kidd and the reformed Jaws.
Yet Largo is one of the films strengths.
Largo like everybody else cannot escape the fabulously attired shadow of the explosive Fatima Blush.
The Girl:Well, you cant win them all.
Mildly annoyed to discover her BF killed her bro but is soon frolicking in the shower with her Bond.
Presented as the woman to tame Connery; hopefully he kept the other Dominos number.
No points for killing Largo due to its total narrative implausibility.
Moreover, Sean is no longer the undisputed champion but rather the creaking figurehead of an unsanctioned breakaway division.
Besides, we all recognize the true champ.
Can you fake-garrotte someone?).
I received the Official Bond Boxset a couple of years back and sporadically rewatched the series.
And as a child I devoured the whole lot many times over.
Hence I usually have a sense of each retrospective before I write a word.
ButNever Say Never Againwasnt in my official boxset.
I only watched it once, many years back.
And I was pleasantly surprised.
Sure, low expectations played a part.
Plus an enjoyable sense of transgression: its not EON but Im covering it anyway.
Okay, not this one.
Indeed, bar the obvious parallels withThunderball, the final Connery could easily pass for mid-Moore.
Stress-free, good natured, happy to welcome anyone along for the ride.
Fully aware of its own inherent ridiculousness; fully happy to embrace it.
The idea of a middle-aged Bond is teased but ultimately shelved.
The opening evaluation and Bonds subsequent dispatching to Shrublands certainly suggest a spy gone to seed.
Ms neutering of the 00s chimes with this theme.
A Bond physically incapacitated, no longer the agent of youth now that idea has wheels.
Only the wheels dont turn.
Age does not wither Bond; only frays him a little at the edges.
As inSkyfall, our supposedly run down hero is soon leaping around with nary a wince or a creak.
Perhaps this durability is part of the joke just like the middle-aged Connerys effect anyone female.
Every single woman swoons over him.
Definitely a gag; and really quite a good one.
Small wonder Connery has such a blast.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder; and twelve years away from Bond certainly rekindled Connerys mojo.
Hes on fine, teasing form; spreading an infectious sense of enjoyment throughout.
This would not have worked, at all, if Connery went through the motions.
read more: The Top 25 Secret Agents in Movie History
The villains steal the film.
Klaus Maria Brandauer portrays Largo as a spoilt, petulant rich kid who grew up only in years.
Spying on Domino reflects his desire for control yet also betrays insecurity.
Largo is the nerd who bagged the Prom Queen and is certain shell leave at any moment.
Largo and Bond embody the ancient enmity of the nerd and the jock.
Largo, unable to match Bond physically, tries to assert superiority through his homemade computer game.
Initially his experience tells; but Bonds inherent toughness and skill ultimately prevail.
Fatima and Largo believe Bond can easily seduce Domino, because thats what jocks do.
They steal the nerds girlfriend.
On seeing Bond and Domino kiss, Largo wont confront his rival directly.
He destroys the studio in fierce yet impotent rage.
What you gonna do, Max?
Maria Brandauer is wonderful.
If you rank him do you rank him?
then he ranks high.
Names aside, Largo and Domino are strikingly different from theirThunderballequivalents.
Dont copy the classics play your own tunes.
The standout character inThunderballwasSPECTREhitwoman Fiona Volpe.
Yet here the writers take an opposite, seemingly suicidal approach.
Rather than keep name, change character, they preserve the characteristics of Fiona and lose the name.
Oh me of little faith!
Fatima Blush is Fiona Volpe, only better.
She tears through the film with the Jokers mentality and Cruella De Vils wardrobe.
Barbara Carrera gives one of the most gloriously deranged performances in all cinema.
She beats up poor Jack Petachi for smoking.
She coos over a snake.
The woman does not mess.
No, Fatimas downfall is her insistence Bond write on scrap newspaper that she was his best shag ever.
This allows Bond to shoot her with his fountain pen.
Nothing happens, then Fatima starts cackling and explodes.
Too silly to achieve tension but very engaging and enjoyably acted.
Fatima is so bonkers the sexual affidavit feels psychologically credible.
Nice, too, that a villainess is finally afforded a worthy death.
(Klebb and Fiona are both shot, Irma Bunt survives.)
The film sags once Fatima exits.
How could it not?
That being said, the Flying Saucer interlude ticks over nicely.
Bond exploits Largos jealousy of Domino to send an SOS while his rival trashes the ballet studio.
As withThunderball, the love/hate triangle of the three protagonists provides some strong moments.
Domino is the weak link.
Now Im perky again!).
Removing the dead twin would freshen up the narrative but make life harder for the writers.
I dont blame them for not.
Rather randomly we find ourselves in North Africa.
This departure fromThunderballs beaten track proves a misstep.
The location switch jars so late in proceedings; not unlikeOctopussys climatic return to India.
Good thatNever Say Never Againtried to go its own way; unfortunately it swiftly gets lost.
Best glide over the Arabian tribesmen desperate for some white female flesh.
And Bond literally rescuing Domino on horseback.
Save that for your Post-Imperialist Fantasies in 20th Century Cinema dissertation.
Alternative title for the slackers:James Bond: Occasionally Slightly Racist.
Come back, the India ofOctopussyand your misplaced Taj Mahal.
The Tears of Allah necklace is totally dumb.
Have a worthless trinket that happens to show the location of my stolen nuclear bomb.
Did you know the swirly patterns are actually a teeny-weeny map?
And look, it says Deux ex, I mean Domino on the back.
The finale wheezes into view, red-faced and spluttering.
We know the drill.
Extras expire as flamboyantly as possible.
A shame the film finally removes its tongue from its cheek.
We dont need another by-the-numbers shootout andNever Say Never Againhad a unique opportunity to offer something different.
Lighter, funnier, bolder (heaven knows what, exactly.
Im here to critique, not rewrite the bloody film.
Kill off Felix for starters).
An opportunity for subversion existed but was ignored.
We finally end underwater; Bond jumps into a well and pretty much lands on Largo.
(Small place, the ocean.)
A brief two-man skirmish is infinitely preferable to an extended scuba melee.
But Domino killing Largo is totally false a duplication that makes no sense in this version.
Why did the Navy let her tag along?
How did the rescue party arrive so rapidly?
Bonds much-vaunted shortcut saved about thirty seconds.
Rechristen Domino and Largo and the film would feel much less of a knockoff.
At least Sean got to say goodbye properly.
With a smile and a wink, sipping cocktails in the sun, a beautiful woman draped over him.
Worse ways to go.
And this time the legacy is secure: Connery helped build a franchise that had already survived his loss.
But the franchise can never escape Connery anymore than Connery can escape his defining role.
Was, and is.
Connery not only made history but also the present and future.Skyfalldripped with homage;Spectrefurther resurrected his ghost.
As the franchise grows, so does the legend.
Casting lingering glances back to a gloriously fresh beginning that cant ever be recaptured.
I rephrase what I wrote in my first retrospective.
The Craig-era has brought the series critical acclaim and unprecedented commercial success.
But then Connerys playing Bond all over the world.
Remember that first line?
Turned out more prophetic than you thought.
Best Bit:The final confrontation with Fatima.
Worst Bit:Those charming native horsemen.
Final Thought:Can Sony or somebody kindly design LargosDominationgame?
I for one would totally play it.
