Not that youll necessarily recognise the address its far better known as the Amityville Horror house.
Basically, what Im trying to say here is that the filmmakers were of a certain pedigree.
And actually, it shows on screen.
Id seen this movie a handful of times before, but never really rated it.
but the escalation of supernatural attacks is well-handled, and the scenes with the bickering priests are oddly brilliant.
Its on an ancient Indian burial ground!
It was a witchs house!
Its a portal to hell!
People were murdered here!
But unlike most horror movies based on true stories, theres something that feels real about it.
The characters act like real people, and their fear is understandable.
Its a slow burner, but its way more unsettling than I ever gave it credit for.
Id never seen it, but Id heard it was good.
Unfortunately, it turns out that the people who told me that had lied.
It is not good.
It is not good at all.
The movie begins, like the first one, with a family moving into a new house in Amityville.
But the movie doesnt end there.
This last section goes on forever and gets increasingly stupid as it goes on.
So within the first ten minutes,Amityville 3Dis already smarter than at least the last twoParanormal Activitymovies.
Theres a definitePoltergeistflavour to the final reel, sadly, but the monster is kind of fun.
The thing I havent addressed is, ugh, the 3D.
And I dont think it really suffered much.
What it didnt bring back, though, was the original house.
Nope, as the title implies, this instalment in theAmityvillefranchise sees the demon move out.
Anyone for a hideous bloodstained rug or a terrifying statue of God knows what?
Theres a surprising amount to enjoy in this movie, because its so inventive and so silly.
Its got some decent dialogue, too, though once again the priests get all the best lines.
Why were there so many horror movies about electrical appliances in the 80s?
(The Refrigerator,Shocker,Terrorvision,The Video Dead?)
Honestly, if you look atEvil Escapesin that context, it starts to seem pretty good.
It barely even qualifies.
On the way, they get distracted by a different one, and decide to buy that instead.
It does appear to be haunted, though.
Not good like the first one, but certainly as good asAmityville 3DorEvil Escapes.
Maybe a bit better.
LikeEvil Escapes, its about an artefact from the originalAmityville Horrorhouse getting out into the wild and causing problems.
Also, theres some time travel.
Im not, am I?
If anything, this film should look good, right?
It looks like a low budget 90s erotic thriller, if Im honest.
Still, once again, the movie gets off to a fairly promising start.
Its not very funny.
This movie is a mess.
This franchise is a mess.
This time, its a dollhouse.
Ill give this one credit for at least bothering to replicate the new family dynamic from the first movie.
The movie doesnt really make sense, of course.
Whats the threat here?
What are the rules?
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Dollhousemarks the end of the sad oldAmityvillefranchise.
The difference in aesthetic between the 80s, 90s, and 2000s is glaring.
ThisAmityville Horroris all rapidfire editing and crazy filters.
They even changed the address, moving the house up the road to 412 Ocean Avenue.
(Only one thing is identical: the bizarrely patterned mirror wall in the master bedroom.)
There are a lot more scares than in the original, though and a new bit of mythology.
Its all just one evil dude back in the 1600s causing problems.
In the original, hes there until the end, even dragging George out of the hell well.
Here, he gets chopped up quite early on as George hallucinates that hes possessed by a demon.
The weirdest thing about watching all of these movies in such quick succession?
Honestly, I quite enjoyed this movie this time around.
Final Thoughts
So what have I learned from all of this?
Ive also learned to look out for bloodstained walls while Im househunting.
