Chuck Norris beats up Russia in Invasion U.S.A.

Here’s Matt’s look-back at a big, blustery, silly action movie…

Invasion U.S.A.has the greatest film poster ever made.

Its just so incredibly tough.

Stare for too long at theInvasion U.S.A.poster and you risk a chemical balance in your body.

In fact, 75% of Olympics drug scandals have been linked to athletes becoming exposed to theInvasion U.S.A.poster.

Simply put; its not fair to the other shot-putters for you to harness the power of Chuck Norris.

Further experimentation is required.

Invasion U.S.A.is utterly ridiculous and kind of brilliant.

Rostov is haunted by nightmares of Chuck Norris, which is fair.

Disclaimer: I dont hear a lot of military strategies.

An incredible amount of death ensues.

Rostovs plans throughout the film are pure bullshit.

Hes clearly got a problem with scale.

It will take so long that people will make cheap Peter Jackson should make a film about it!

By the time they finish Americans will have had ample time to rebuild half of whats been blown up.

Made during The Cold War, the whole thing is essentially Chuck Norris beats up Russia.

Its particularly annoying because they dont even really commit to it.

There are a couple of moments addressing the realities of a war in America and theyre actually quite interesting.

Its also due praise for being such a big, extravagant production.

Now lets move onto Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Matt Hunters character arc is essentially;

Nah, fuck it.

Ugh, fuck you.

Hey, fuck you!

Hunter is a former CIA agent.

Hes not a character that fusses a lot.

His is introduced to us helping to wrangle a gator.

Shortly afterwards, he chainsaws some wood.

Not as part of the plot, but you know, Chuck Norris and a chainsaw.

The bad guys attack.

Then he will pull over somewhere and an incredible shootout will occur.

The end result is a tinsel-draped bloodbath.

I think the implication is that he might be god.

Ok, so its a fairly relaxed crucifixion, but still.

Also, do you see his smooth, exposed chest?

Thats not part of the theory but I thought it was worth checking that youd noticed.

Oh, and Jesus wasnt god, right?

So there are some holes in this theory, although Id argue that it really makes you think.

Theres certainly no denying that Chuck Norris has a beard for the entire runtime.

Whether thats a positive or a negative is on you.

Personally, I think its tremendous fun.

A big, blustery and silly action movie.