Just because you like James Bond movies, it doesn’t mean you have to like James Bond too…
I love James Bond films.
I hate James Bond.
Having thought about it a lot in the build-up toSpectre, I realize that it isnt.
The worlds greatest secret agent would be secret, but everyone knows the name James Bond).
First, allow me to set-up a character assassination of Bond.
James Bond is a bastard.
A relic of the Cold War.
This is true, and it also stands as a rare moment of self-awareness from the franchise itself.
Otherwise, its up to viewers to objectively acknowledge that their screen hero is a hideous human being.
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James Bond is a gun for hire.
Hes a professional murderer.
Bond is a handsome man with an array of transferable skills.
Couldnt he try his hand as a male model, a sales representative or as a karaoke bar owner?
We know that Bond is beneath a lot of shady secretive personalities and unaccountable bureaucrats.
They may be working in the best interests of national and international security.
Then again, they may not and, quite probably, are not.
Im reluctant to say anything more along these political lines lest I be branded a Britain-hating traitor or something.
All Ill say is Edward Snowden.
Anyway, back to 007 and his personality and personal character.
Sadly for the secret agent and his private parts, though, I really dont.
For a start, Im worried about the hygienic and medical implications of all his sleeping around.
Most of the time 007 picks up ladies, has sex with them and then tosses them aside.
Perhaps this emotionally damaged mans womanising and commitment-phobia is partly down the death his wife Tracy.
His selfish purposes are either ego, the mission or the wish to alleviate boredom.
For shame, James.
You need something to keep your mind busy for three hours, okay?).
As a kid I loved the globetrotting international adventure aspect.
The spy stuff was fun and the action was exhilarating.
I want to see the megalomaniacs, the sophisticated terrorists, the henchpersons and the thugs.
For all his jetsetting, sex and spy skills, James Bond is pretty boring.
Hes a bloke in a dinner suit, doing a dubious job and he has little-to-no heart.
The villains, however, have personality, imagination, creative flair and soul.
Its true that a 007 movie is only truly as good as its baddies.
Conversely, the forgettable franchise instalments are entirely lacking on the antagonist front (seeQuantum Of Solace).
007 is a tool.
I dont think that geeks should be getting behind people like that.
