Homes Under The Hammer is a comforting constant in an ever-changing world.
I bloody loveHomes Under The Hammer.
Its the kind of low-engagement programming that suits any time and any mood.
I like nosing around peoples houses.
The first section is a nose around the derelict property while the presenter criticises absolutely everything.
Lucy Alexander likes old-fashioned things which are almost always removed by the developer.
But we dont really care, the first section is all about our own personal curiosity.
Ooh, theyve got artex ceilings, the bastards!
What were they thinking with those tiles?
They were probably Nazis.
I bet they eat black forest gateau too, the unbelievable shits.
The next biggest problem is usually the bathroom.
Nobody wants to poo on a green toilet in a cupboard, apparently.
Its too early for that sort of shenanigans.
Sanjeev and sons have a budget of 15,432 exactly and will do most of the work themselves.
Neil explains his plans in detail, which means conversations about joists and load bearing walls.
Fortunately, long-time viewers know exactly how long to wait.
If the property has any wrought iron balconies or gates then expectIron Manto play.
Any high rise property will be accompanied by M PeoplesMoving On Up.
A new boiler being fitted might be accompanied byHot Stuff.
A damp problem calls forThe Tide Is High.
A beech-effect CD rack needs Chris ReasOn The Beach.
Then we find out what has happened in the intervening period.
Why its always this particular song is beyond me.
The estate agents always use the same euphemisms.
- The entire property is beige and has made a pre-tax profit of 7000.
Fun fact: I went to school with someone onHomes Under The Hammer.
He was one of the estate agents who does the valuations.
So, every episode is the same.
And most importantly, its always there for you.
