This movie has been a long time in the making.
Originally announced in 2009,Hansel and Gretelwas produced for a March 2012 release date.
Like to the end of time.
Hansel and Gretelopens promisingly enough.
Then the rest of the movie happened.
The mayor has hired them to investigate the mysterious disappearances of a dozen children.
However, this blue-eyed wraith may be the most formidable of witches the siblings have ever faced.
One who seems to know something about the parents Hansel and Gretel never saw after the whole abandonment-in-the-forest.
That sums up the movies biggest problem: it cannot choose what it is.
The premise is totally absurd schlock, but there are a few moments where it almost embraces that.
The witches, like a great number of the VFX shots, are created with make-up and practical effects.
Itd be like if Bruce Campbell tried to interpret Ash inArmy of Darknessas a PTSD survivor.
You cant have your cake and eat it too.
This is especially true inHansel and Gretel,because the supposed burden Gretel speaks of is never seen.
to the townspeople and head butt the local sheriff in a roar of cinematic feminism.
And if your leads are clearly not having fun, what chance do the rest of us have?
The supporting cast goes through the motions with what they are given.
Stormare mugs his way to the paycheck and Janssen lets the make-up do her acting for her.
The rest of the production is equally dutiful, though the use of CGI blood is a disappointment.
Perhaps, this movie should have.
Den of Geek Rating: 1.5 out of 5 Stars
