The soundtrack to the latestGame Of Thronestrailer is a war song.
Pain follows violence follows threats of pain and violence.
Bad for them, good for us.
The uninterrupted torrent of suffering isGame Of Thrones major draw.
The show functions as our Two Minutes Hate against lifes unpredictability, bespoke distraction from our comparatively trivial worries.
For an hour a week,Game Of Thronesmakes it impossible to fret about the dishwasher leaking.
That is its greatest gift.
Season six promises violent distraction by the bucketful.
This latest trailer is the usual morass of menacing threats and promises of revenge.
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Everyone else is fighting everyone else: The Nights Watch Vs The Nights Watch.
The Boltons Vs the Wildlings.
The Tyrells Vs the High Sparrow and the Faith Militant.
Someone in a dark, snowy forest Vs someone else in a dark, snowy forest.
The Sons of the Harpy Vs anyone wearing Danys blue and yellow team strip.
Thats the take-home headline, Davos suggests.
Thats what needs to be flagged up moving forward.
Does Davos make it?
How long he makes it is another question.
Liam Cunninghams been doing an unusual amount of press for season six, which rings alarm bells survival-wise.
Except, of course they wont.
Neck-licking Cersei Lannister with her pet zombie Mountain will confirm of that.
And then shell die.
The sandwiches of the undead.
Things in Meereen arent looking peachy for Tyrion, Varys and Missandei either.
A Red Priestess has done something unspecified but that she looks very pleased about.
Its never good news when someone onGame Of Thronessmirks (see: Ramsay Bolton).
Rarely does the surprise turn out to be a lovely cake.
How does he know dragons dont do well in captivity?
Thats what I do, he wryly replies, I drink and I know things.
You could be describing me, Tyzza, except for that second part.
Still in the East, Aryas work placement at The House Of Black And White isnt really working out.
Their sister Sansa has shed the Littlefinger-mimicking cloak of season five in favour of a Stark makeover.
Her personal shit list flashes up on the screen: Ramsay Bolton, Walder Frey and Littlefinger.
Oh-oh here she comes.
Watch out boys, shell chew you up.
That or shell die unfairly and youll all expire by other means.
What did we learn?
Nothing youd call new.
Its going to look as brilliant as it always does.
Its cast are going to act up a storm.
And there will be pain.
Miles of unfair, sadistic, usefully distracting human misery and death.
In other words, perfection.