The Game continues this week in its usual epic way.
Are You Not Entertained?
Yeah, thats right Astapor King Cleon, how do you like the curve of her royal throne now?
Because I bet it freaking burns.
Already a broken man and they still fear the Kingslayer?
Say what you will about Jaime, but he always loved fair fights.
He even beat one of his own men for ruining his duel with Ned Stark.
For all his suicidal bravado though, he is at least winning over Brienne as another Jaime fangirl.
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Meanwhile, shenanigans are afoot in Kings Landing.
Varys is an interesting cat this time.
To prove the point, Varys finally reveals to Tyrion how he lost his own royal hand.
When he was but a boy, he was sold as a slave to a sorcerer.
The sorcerer took Varyss manhood and fed it to some dark, ancient god in the flames.
Worse still, the voice of that horrifying deity spoke back from the flames.
While that is from the book, what follows is not.
And he never forgot what that magician took from him.
The voice with which he summoned seemingly demonic forces is silenced forever between his tightly sewn lips.
Vengeance will be yours in time.
But really, the show is announcing: Be patient.
We are starting to cook now.
The first big revelation of the episode is that Theon Greyjoy is not going home anytime soon.
Ned Stark may have hostaged him as a boy, but he raised him to be an honorable man.
But it is too late for Theon, whether with his own worthless father or the Northerners he betrayed.
Theon is a man with no future at this point.
Especially in the twisted hands of that kid.
Back at Kings Landing, Varys finally does begin making moves in regards to his rivals meteoric rise.
Littlefingers presence, though absent this week, is strongly felt.
Despite going to marry Sansas nutty aunt, Littlefinger still has designs on the daughter of his one-and-only love.
She better start learning to be a bit quieter before she finds herself on the cutting room floor.
Speaking of the Tyrells and Lannisters, Varyss next visit is to the Queen of Thorns.
Oh, how I love Diana Rigg in this show.
When Varys approaches her with pleasantries, she simply shoots him down.
Is this how seduction begins?
Varys wishes to align himself with the Tyrells by courting Sansa away from Littlefingers clutches.
Her name is the key to ruling the northern half of the continent.
Should Littlefinger spirit her away to the Vale, eventually he will use her as a power chip.
Olenna agrees that Sansa is an interesting person, if as at least a pawn.
Why Margaery seemed perfectly happy as Renlys royal beard and it is (again) preferable to Joffrey.
Once more, Tywin is curiously quiet as he scribbles cryptic letters down while a child waits.
Gosh, why wont you confide in me, daddy?!
Tywin confides all right when he just rips her to shreds for letting Joffrey run wild.
She tries to shirk responsibility and say that it is not her fault she spoiled her little sociopath rotten.
Why, you should try controlling the incest baby!
I will, Tywin says with the kind of authority that sends chills up a spine.
Tyrion has slapped Joffrey.
Cersei has slapped Joffrey.
Which brings us to the events that truly made this episode amazing.
The thing about lording abusive power is that you really need to have it.
Caster is an ugly old cuss who rapes his daughters and feeds his sons to Whitewalkers.
One whose worth only exists if men believe it is there.
This ragtag group of leftover Rangers has just buried another friend.
A man whose watch is over.
They are starving, cold and waiting for deaths icy blue eyes to lock onto them at any moment.
So, insulting them constantly and feeding them breadcrumbs is probably not the smartest move.
Talk about bringing a knife to a Caesarian execution.
It devolves into Lord of the Flies, right down to the most nasty of the watchmen hunting Piggie.
Sam turns almost brave when he makes the smart decision to run away.
This takes us back to Daenerys.
She has come to trade Drogon for those 8,000 Unsullied.
There is a reason Danys nickname is Stormborn.
Valyrian is my mother tongue, she warns the moron before proving that dragons are no slaves.
Because Daenerys Stormborn does not smile.
Not even while she is smiting her enemies like an Old Testament plague.
There were other great elements this week.
But it is all really secondary to the amount of crazy action that went down.
Plus, Drogon got to go Dragon-Fishin on a dudes face.
The biggest compliment that I can give the episode is its ending.
I have reviewed quite a few shows for Den of Geek.
But notGame of Thronesand especially not this week.
When the hour was up, I looked at my watch in disbelief that the story is over.
It will have to be another week before I see more of Jaime and Briennes Road Trip from Hell.
And it will be a week to see the fallout of Casters Keep and Astapor.
Until then, rest assured there will be more fire and blood to come.
read more: Game of Thrones Season 8 Predictions and Theories
