Roger Moore got back to James Bond movie basics with For Your Eyes Only.
For Your Eyes Onlyis the outlier of the Moore tenure.
The plot recallsFrom Russia With Love, only without SPECTRE, the honey-trap, and the Orient Express.
You know, the good bits.
Reactive more than proactive,For Your Eyes Onlyis the franchise asking itself, where are we now?
The Villain:Good character, lousy villain.
Does that make sense?
However, as an antagonist Uncle Ari is woefully underpowered.
Fair play for the keelhaul but that marks the only point Kristatos feels like a true bad guy.
A minor plan is alright if you are a major personality.
(Kananga, Scaramanga.)
A shortage of allure can be hidden behind a truly gigantic scheme (Drax, Stromberg).
But small man, small plan?
That makes arguably the least memorable villain of the lot.
Fifth-placing on the credits says it all.
Melina Havelock is a strong heroine.
But somehow I feel she could be stronger.
(Bouquet, that is.
Not the third wife.)
Fiercely independent, brave, and resourceful, Melina has much going for her.
But something, a certain fizz, is lacking.
A sense of fun, perhaps.
With all her attributes (a goddamn crossbow, come on!)
Melina should be one of the greats.
But, somehow, she isnt.
For Your Eyes Onlyis the franchise going cold turkey.
Out with the space shuttles, lasers, supervillains, lairs, gadgets, disfigurements, and global genocides.
In with heroin smugglers, accidental (!)
shipwreck, monasteries, ice skating, and plot-developing macaws.
Like any period of abstinence, the sensation is refreshing, strangely pleasing and definitely required.
And, of course, a little forgettable.
Watch For Your Eyes Only on Amazon
The opening is bizarre, and I hate it.
Dense legal shenanigans meant screenwriter Kevin McClory owned the rights to Blofeld, SPECTRE and the filmThunderball.
So Broccoli retaliated by dropping Blofeld down a chimney because Albert was, like,soover him.
Essentially he violated the legacy of one of cinemas great villains just to prove a point.
Only it slightly backfired.
Broccoli doesnt really drop Blofeld down a chimney: just some bald guy with a wheelchair and a cat.
If youre going to kill Blofeld off, do the damn job properly.
Devote a film to it.
Im sure Broccoli would have loved that.
But obviously he couldnt because he didnt own the rights.
Because he didnt own the rights.
Disagree with both if you wish, but two wrongs still dont make the rights.
I feel the films never referenced Tracy often enough.
(although I bet somebody can).
Heaven knows where we are with the Craig semi-reboot (reshoe?)
but it seems a safe bet Tracy is currently erased from his timeline.
I refuse to believe the military dont have a contingency plan for a mislaid ATAC.
Such as changing the launch codes.
But, being budget conscious, MI6 dispatch Bond in an attempt to avoid such hassle.
M wouldnt stand for such parsimony.
But alas, M is on leave and Bernard Lee has taken his.
He died shortly after filming commenced.
Although Connery was the first of the original MI6 quartet to depart, he could and did return.
This rupture with the past was unfixable.
For eleven films and nearly two decades Lee anchored the series: to both its cinematic and literary origins.
Bernard Lee, ladies and gentleman.
Risen from Flemings pages, written into cultural folklore.
The car chase is a breezy little affair.
And the music is so jaunty too.
Does anybody else feel sorry for the poor olive famers?
That must be a whole harvest ruined!
The Indentigraph scene with Q is a real treat.
As the most comically gifted Bond, Moores interactions with Desmond Llewelyn are invariably a joy.
And the Indentigraph itself brings out my inner child.
I rather wish we saw more of Locque, the Wally Doppelganger.
Or at least saw him better.
Who isnt developed either, but then Kriegler is only there to be strong and Russian.
There are many Krieglers but few Locques and its a shame he never takes centre stage.
Locque has the honour of being Moores coldest kill.
Indeed I read somewhere that Locque is the only person Moore ever kills in cold blood.
If Bond killed Bibi Dahl in cold blood few would blame the man.
Oh, I take it back, Bibi isnt that bad.
Shes just stuck in the wrong film.
Poor Bibi missed theMoonrakerso snuck into this one instead.
Presumably somebody read an early, Bibi-less script draft and decided: You know what this needs?
This needs a blonde American teenager who continually flings herself at Bond.
Never had that before.
I feel one should watch Bibis attempted seduction of Bond between laced fingers, and scream Sacrilege!
when she surprise-snogs him, but I quite enjoy Moores acting here.
You get your clothes on and Ill buy you an ice cream.
Imagine Connery saying that one.
The other five Bonds, while obviously distinctive, can be interchanged.
you’re able to imagine Craig inFrom Russia With Loveor Brosnan inThe Living Daylights.
Dalton slots nicely intoCasino Royale, and even Lazenby might just manageThunderball(okay, Lazenby is tough.
But he only made one).
Only Moore could ever play a Moore film.
Even in the imagination.
Next time you watch Moore, try and imagine anybody else speaking his lines.
And vice versa: try and place Moore in all the other films that arent his own.
Conjuring the most incongruous switch is a game in itself.
Roger MooresLicence to Killranks pretty highly.
But surely nothing beatsMoonrakerstarring Daniel Craig?
Some housekeeping to shoot through.
Theres the third and final appearance for the much-loved Man with Wine!
Victor Tourjansky: he built an entire cinematic legacy on surprised boozing.
Look out for those skiers!
And also: anyone spot Charles Dance?
Yes, Tywin Lannister is one of Kristatoss henchmen.
(I think he gets harpooned at some point).
Actors in Bonds before they were famous surely an article there if anybody fancies it.
The ill-fated Countess Lisle is played by Cassandra Harris, then Mrs. Pierce Brosnan.
Sadly she died before Pierce received his 00-status, a part shed always championed him for.
And how right she was.
The rivalry between Kristatos and Columbo is really what makes the film here.
The latters appearance marks the point of uplift.
Columbo is a wonderful old rogue, the best since Kerim Bey (Sorry, Draco).
His existence is optional (the Bond ally is invariably male.
As such, writing a good ally requires a certain level of effort.
Much easier to make him a name and a job title (take the unfortunate Luigi).
Even Felix Leiter is a name and a job title; just a recurrent one.
Fair play to the writers because they pulled out a corker.
Bond initially believes Columbo an enemy but the latters charm and sincerity wins him round.
Columbos pistachio habit is an endearing symbol of the care that was obviously taken with his characterisation.
A lovely touch, especially when he deploys the shells to give away enemy movement in the warehouse battle.
And of course Topols performance cannot be praised enough.
A beautiful baritone voice, eyes never without a glint: cut the man and he probably bleeds charisma.
Kristatos falls a little short by comparison.
But Kristatos is never allowed a chance to shine.
No monologues, little sense of threat.
A shame, because Moore and Good Kristatos display a nice chemistry in their early scenes together.
But the true shame the lack of a proper Kristatos/Columbo showdown.
Two strong characters, played by two great actors, endowed with a compelling backstory.
Let the pair share some dialogue!
Preferably in some kind of standoff situation, or where one holds the other at gunpoint.
Watching the creaky struggles of Kristatos and Columbo, I immediately thought, Old Man Fight!
Then suspicion struck and I reached for my laptop…
Yes, Roger Moore is older than both Topol and Julian Glover.
Seven years Glovers senior, eight ahead of Topol.
While that esteemed duo are in their mid-forties, Roger is pushing 54.
Actually, want a real mindblower (well it blew mine)?
Today, in 2015, Caroline Bouquet is 57.
Barely four years older than her 1981 onscreen lover.
It cant be avoided here: Moores age is definitely an issue.
Indeed the Bond-Melina age-gap is the widest in the series, weighing in at a cool three decades.
Wisely, the producers cast a 38 year-old heroine inOctopussy.
This wisdom didnt last.
Kristatos mountain retreat is located thanks to the wonderfully named parrot Max.
Moral of the story: never discuss your plans within earshot of talking birds.
The mountain climb is a tense if lightweight finale.
Bond dangling from a rope as an enemy knocks out his pitons is a superbly executed set-piece.
And it certainly makes a nice change from Laser Quest in space.
However, once St Cyrils is breached resolution is swift and easy.
He leaves the task to Max the parrot and goes off skinny-dipping with Melina.
For Your Eyes Only, then, is a palate-cleanser, a little something to remove the taste ofMoonraker.
Best Bit:I really rate that first encounter with Columbo.
Worst Bit:Oh look, its Blofeld!
Disappearing down a chimney.
We wont be seeing him again.
Final Thought:Why would anybody want a stainless steel delicatessen?
This article first appeared onDen of Geek UKon May 11, 2015.
