Cats are not Capable of Understanding Rambo: First Blood Part II

They may be furry, they may be cute.

But make no mistake: cats simply can’t appreciate the power of Rambo: First Blood Part II… Then I turned to my cat, Mr. Cobretti, and was stunned to discover that hed fallen asleep.

While Rambos gunning down wave after wave of communists, your cats probably licking its rear end.

Cats sense that they are irrelevant to this fantasy, and it doesnt even bother them.

When Rambo asks his mentor Colonel Trautman, Do we get to win this time?

a cat has no concept of the power behind those words.

First Blood Part IIand the hackle-raising sounds of gunfire have no effect.

The cat just stares, uncomprehendingly into the middle distance.

I think he resents me for naming him after Slys character in his 1986 masterpiece,Cobra.

I think he resents me for my outcries, my whoops of joy, and my spontaneous nudity.

What wouldRambo: First Blood Part IIlook like if it were told by a cat?

At the same time, they must defend themselves against an all-out attack from the Decepticons.

No, wait thats the synopsis fromTransformers: The Movie.

And who would want to watch that movie?

Cosmotos was probably just out back, eating yogurt.

George Pan Cosmotos was not capable of understandingFirst Blood Part II.

The only time he perks up is whenGoodfellasappears on Channel 5.

Then hell sit, riveted, watching the screen intently.

Sometimes, I think Mr. Cobretti likesGoodfellasmore than he likes me.