It is an immutable law of the universe that everything everywhere will at some point be bought onBargain Hunt.
It doesnt matter if it was actually the plastic thing that keeps your router standing on end.
Well, he was.
Presumably, the BBC like this because it means lower wages.
But for most ofBargain Hunts 823,543 episodes its been dear old bespectacled bebowtied befuddled Tim Wonnacott.
None of this actually happens.
I mean, assuming you are entertained by someone in a muddy fleece overpaying for a pewter tankard.
I know I am.
Why did we never learn in school about Victorians making jewellery out of dead peoples hair?
Or about porcelain glass eye spoons?
Why dont we talk about the myriad devices posh people used as defecation conveyances?
Our blues today are Church and Caboose.
For the purpose of this article, Church is a recruitment consultant and Caboose is a recruitment consultant.
Todays expert who will be babysitting them will be Philip Serrell.
Our reds today are Grif and Sarge.
Ultimately the reds buy a Stradivarius, the Mona Lisa and the original theatrical version ofStar Warson Blu-ray.
Lets call him Donut.
(Yes, the tank is Sheila.)
In my imaginaryHalocrossover, the auctioneer is Philip Serrell again, screw it.
At best the team is predicted to break even, which Tim calls wiped its face without fail.
Answers on a postcard.
First up its the Blues.
As Church and Caboose only left Philip Serrell 50p hes bought a chipped Charles and Diana memorial brick.
The blues, however, can choose not to take the bonus item.
Next, the Reds.
The bonus item Philip Serrell buys with the 150 left over is a large country manor in Lincolnshire.
Obviously, Philip Serrell loves all these items and predicts a profit of 5.
But, along the way, we have learned something.
We have been educated by stealth.
We have had knowledge inserted into us while we were unaware.
And because of that, we are empowered.
Well, either Im empowered, or Ive just gone on an all night binge ofBargain HuntandHalo.
