In 1996, Universal Pictures releasedMystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie.
The idea was solid, though.
Ten years later, long afterMST3Kseemed gone for good (thankfully, it wasnt!
), Mike Nelson created his own take on bad movie riffing calledRiffTrax.
In 2009, they tried a little experiment calledRiffTrax Live.
It would be replayed a few days later, but that was it.
Just two showings and a DVD release.
The concept took off and it became like a Marvel movie thing.
1-to-4RiffTrax Liveevents per year and over twenty in total.
Some movies are targets they already hit on the website.
Some are ones they already hit during theMST3Kdays.
Some are brand new to them.
Unfortunately, while many are available to stream, some are locked away due to legal reasons.
Like how Clint Eastwood was never in a movie with John Wayne or Rocky Balboa never fought Mike Tyson.
One of those instances was the idea ofPlan 9 From Outer Spacebeing onMystery Science Theater 3000.
It was THE so-bad-its-amazing movie.
The movie revolves around some dumpy aliens who want to prevent Earth from blowing up the universe.
Reanimate the dead…but only three people.
As the firstRiffTrax Live, it is a bit different from later installments.
For instance,Parade of Aquatic Championsis just a news reel of sorts that talks up a swimming event.
read more: A Guide to MST3K Christmas Episodes
3.
Its a delightfully try-hard film, but not one of the more memorableRiffTrax Liveepisodes.
Not the cool kind of fun with grass, like playing the piano really fast.
and Bill Corbett losing his mind over it.
Theyre cute, but forgettable.
For the most part, its not the best fit with the RiffTrax style.
Luckily, the show redeems itself with two of the all-time best shorts inMagical Disappearing MoneyandPaper and I.
The latter of which has Paul F. Tompkins show up to help out.
Shes the kind of person who buys Hunts ketchup.Burn her.
Paper and Iis the brother short to theMST3KclassicA Case of Spring Fever, only a bit more ridiculous.
Its just that watching it now, its silly as all get-out and feels too dated to take seriously.
You know, like nearly any movie with stop-motion animation.
Seriously, what the hell?
Its just two kids tripping out and discussing the very concept of nothing.
ForgetPlan 9, THIS was considered by many and still is to be the absolute worst movie ever made.
Makes sense that the RiffTrax crew would give it a second go.
), a harem of women, and a vicious dog.
What follows is a tale of darkness, hopelessness, and catfighting.
Most importantly, it has Torgo, who has become possibly THE most memorable movie character inMST3Klore.
This one is about his misadventures in a parking lot.
My theater was sold out for this show and it was removed for the digital version.
BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR
October 25, 2012
Birdemicis one of the RiffTrax classics.
Here…not so much.
Rod and Nathalie fight for survival along with two orphans and…thats about it.
It comes with the shortNorman Checks In.
In this one, Norman gets stuck living in a lousy hotel room and hilarity/crippling depression ensues.
Fortunately, RiffTrax was able to getStarship Troopersinstead.
While they can show the broadcast in theaters whenever, thats basically it.
Unfortunate, but it does make certain shows must-watch.
Instead, we have a combination that doesnt really work too well.
Its not really their fault.
Its a movie based on a handful of people holed up in one environment for most of the runtime.
At least we get another Norman adventure withNorman Gives a Speech.
Enjoy his endless suffering!
Thats how rich it is.
Hes a horrifying lion creature whose only activities are eating candy and telling us that he can eat candy.
Definitely one of the better holiday watches for RiffTrax in general.
SHARKNADO
July 10, 2014
So.
The first two movies got theRiffTrax Livetreatment and Ill admit that the first one works.
Theres some actual earnestness in how bad it all comes out.
Ian Ziering plays bar owner/surfer Fin, who tries to find his family and survive the unholy storm.
The sequels would involve space, time-travel, cyborgs, and annoying celebrities getting killed by flying sharks.
The original remains just grounded enough to make a good target.
The short isA Case of Spring Fever, which I mentioned earlier is one of the most memorableMST3Kshorts.
GODZILLA (1998)
August 14, 2014
Another Kickstarter gave us a theater-onlyRiffTrax Liveofthe Matthew BroderickGodzillamovie.
The one with the Puff Daddy song.
Forget cool kaiju fights.
This ones all about bad CGI and whining about Siskel and Ebert.
Good God, did this piece of shit really need to be that long?
Ill never get over it.
If they ever rerelease this one in theaters, give it a look.
As Owen Wilson would say, It just makes sense!
SANTA CLAUS
December 4, 2014
Here we go with the other old schoolMST3KChristmas classic.
Santa Claus mythology is depicted where instead of elves, he has a bunch of international children.
His reindeer are freaky robots.
His best friend is Merlin the Magician.
He has a giant pair of robot lips in his workshop for some reason.
Most importantly, his antagonist is Pitch, an agent of Satan himself.
Whats nice about this one is that without the time restraints, we get to see the entire film.
Did you know that Santa has a beefy blacksmith on the payroll?
Then again, about 95% of the extra footage is dedicated to Merlins annoying walking song.
The short included isAt Your Fingertips: Sugar and Spice.
To bring it to the big screen, they held another big Kickstarter entitled The Crappening.
It just sucks that unlike its spiritual siblingBirdemic,The Roomisnt available as a VOD.
The short for the show wasAt Your Fingertips: Floats.
I have nothing to add to that.
Intentionally bad is the worst kind of bad movie outside of boring as hell.
Since its now in on the joke, theres little to actually make fun of.
Theres a reason riffers tend to stay away from comedies.
What followed was movie magic.
Also in this entry, the shortMeasuring Man.
Then you have Measuring Man, who lays low as a mild-mannered milkman when he isnt donning the tights.
He andMiami Connectionjoin forces to make one of the all-time bestRiffTrax Liveshows.
Hes treated as a mysterious and frightening figure who is part Lovecraftian nightmare and part psychotic drifter.
Kind of like an even scarier Nick Nolte.
The movies a mess.
It was also very boring.
If youre going to watch any version ofSanta and the Ice Cream Bunny, go with this one.
TIME CHASERS
May 5, 2016
Time Chasersis another classicMST3Kflick, but its one that isalmostgood.
As it goes, a nerdy pilot guy figures out time travel and sells it to a big corporation.
Said corporation uses it irresponsibly and turns the future into a dystopia.
If anything, watch it for Kevin Murphys Paul Bearer impression.
Obviously, we have the main team of Mike, Bill, and Kevin doing their thing.
Then Mary Jo Pehl and Bridget Nelson team up.
The Mads, made up of Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff show their stuff.
Then theres the old and the new with Joel Hodgson working alongside Jonah.
Oh, and Jonah did great.
Hes a good egg.
MOTHRA
August 18, 2016
Mothrais the opposite of most Toho movies.
On the other hand, the human-driven stuff surrounding her existence is strong enough to keep you paying attention.
Lots of stuff to keep the riffers on their game.
read more: A History of Mothra
That is, until Mothra starts destroying buildings.
From there, its rather monotonous.
For this one, the short isSoapy the Germ Fighter.
The story follows Mary, a woman who survives a car accident and decides to move away.
Her new life is met with both isolation and the fear that shes being haunted by pale-faced ghouls.
Congratulations, you probably guessed the ending by now.
The movie dawdles too much and isnt weird enough to be fun.
But if you lovedAt Your Fingertips: Grasses, youll loveMasks of Grass!
SAMURAI COP
April 13, 2017
This movie is the best kind of trash.
Hes what happens when your cliche angry captain is both pissed off AND on the side of the protagonist.
I think it was a handful of kids playing with kickballs in various ways that went on forever?
The grand finale isThe Baggsand all I can say is holy shit.
You have to see this one to believe it.
Theres only so much time in the day and I can only follow so much nerd stuff.
I still know enough aboutDoctor Whoto understand why this movie is the perfect fodder for RiffTrax.
ItsAvengers: Infinity Warwith earlyDoctor Who, only with a very limited budget that gets embarrassing at points.
This one gets pretty damn grisly.
Hes opposed by a muscular slab of generic action hero, his old-looking girlfriend, and her God-looking father.
The short for this show isThe Magic Shop, a lesser-known HG Wells story.
Theres good reason for that.
It also features a very young Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane in supporting roles.
This thing really didnt need to be two hours.
On the night of the wedding, alien invaders slaughter nearly everyone and capture the princess.
Colwyn puts together a group to rescue the princess and save the planet Krull.
This team includes a half-competent wizard, a child, a group of bandits, and a bigass cyclops.
Its too bad that this one cant be released in full.
Its one of my all-time favorite riff-things.
OCTAMAN
April 18, 2019
Never mind what I said aboutSharknado 2.
This one might be the hardestRiffTrax Liveto sit through.
Its the antithesis of fun schlock.
Octamanis about a mutated octopus stalking through a swamp, looking for victims.
Instead, he shows up in full view, in broad daylight, within the opening minutes.
Then they all end up in a cave and everything sucks forever.
Yes,Star Raidersis from 2017.
Its a movie so overflowing with cliche and aimlessness that I really cant even tell you what its about.
By then, the movie ends and you wonder what on Earth you even sat through.
Give it a look!
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