“How do you get rats off an island?”
Occasionally, a movie villain will pause for a moment to deliver a brief story or anecdote.
Weve compiled a selection of 20 here.
Some of them are blackly funny.
One or two are even moving.
The first ones very strange.
When I was a little boy at my grandmamas place, she had a lovely goose.
I truly loved that goose, Xander tells us.
I puked up, I cried like a child, Xander says.
So, how do you get rats off an island?
My grandmother showed me… Future events are all foreshadowed in Silvas dark story.
Now they dont eat coconut anymore.
Now, they only eat rat.
You have changed their nature.
The two survivors this is what she made us.
Sicilians are great liars.
The best in the world.
My father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars.
From growing up with him I learned the pantomime.
There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away.
A guys got seventeen pantomimes.
Its a classic scene, with two stories delivered by two true acting greats.
Its ironic that he could save others from death, but not himself.
While Palpatine doesnt tell Anakin who Plagueiss apprentice was, we can readily guess his identity.
McDiarmid, wed argue, really doesnt get enough credit for his work in theStar Warsmovies.
You live in a dream.
Youre a sleepwalker, blind.
How do you know what the world is like?
Do you know the world is a foul sty?
Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, youd find swine?
The worlds a hell.
What does it matter what happens in it?
Ice cream, Mandrake.
Towards the end of Stanley Kubricks legendarily brilliant Cold War satire,Dr.
I do not avoid women, Mandrake, Ripper hastily adds, but I do deny them my essence.
Thanks for clearing that up, General Ripper.
Otherwise we might have thought you were weird or something.
I like these calm little moments before the storm.
It reminds me of Beethoven.
Can you hear it?
Do you like Beethoven?
I kill firstborns while their mamas watch.
I turn cities into salt.
On the subway today, a man came up to me to start a conversation.
He made small talk, a lonely man talking about the weather and other things…
I almost didnt notice it had happened, but I suddenly threw up all over him.
He was not pleased, and I couldnt stop laughing.
You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then youll notice youve got their strict attention.
You know what I think?
Norman Bates seemed like such a nice boy, too.
Theres that and his worrying collection of stuffed birds.
Well, sort of.
Where does the hawk look?
Because Im aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.
David Cronenberg once wrote that great cinema can be something as simple as two people talking.
Waltzs Colonel Landa embarks on his lengthy sermon to quietly terrified farmer, LaPadite.
And all the while, were waiting waiting for the discovery to be made.
Together with Waltzs coiled performance, its an unforgettable scene.
You wanna know how I got these scars…?
One of the best stories from a villain in recent years?
But he never did.
Its a stomach-churning, horrible scene, and DiCaprios performance mesmerises from beginning to end.
The brilliance doesnt just lie in the words, either its a great fusion of performance and filmmaking.
Like Hannibal, Demmes camera doesnt blink.
I stood right up and started shouting.
This isnt what happened last week!
Have you all got amnesia?
They just cheated us!
He didnt get out of the cockadoodie car!
Novelist Paul Sheldon (James Caan) has every right to look as terrified as he does.
The Priest and me, we lived by the same principles.
It was only faith divided us.
He gave me this, you know?
That was the finest beating I ever took.
My face was pulp.
I cut out the eye that looked away, I sent it to him wrapped in blue paper.
I wouldve cut them both out if I could have fought him blind.
And I rose back up again with a full heart… and buried him in his own blood.
He was the only man I ever killed worth remembering.
Would you like me to tell you the little story of right-hand, left-hand?
The story of good and evil?
Horror and moral terror are your friends.
If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.
They are truly enemies!
I remember when I was with Special Forces… seems a thousand centuries ago.
We went into a camp to inoculate some children… Coppola was forced to shoot Brando in virtual darkness to hide the actors unexpected weight gain.
Kurtzs monologue was originally much longer approximately 18 minutes but Coppola edited it down to around two.
The result is a classic, chilling piece of cinema a glimpse into a moral abyss.
Suddenly, Brandos casting makes perfect sense.
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