For decades, the Ben Cooper company ruled Halloween.
The costumes werent known for quality or, if were being honest, safety.
Ben Cooper held the license to just about any 70s and 80s license one can think of.
One other thing about Ben Cooper costumes, some of them were, shall we say, freaky.
The Black Cat
Ok, what in the name of the twelfth level of Hell is going on here?
Hey, lets dress Junior up like a snarling, rabid nightmarish beast.
Holy crap, that thing is Alfs worst nightmare (Hey!
Ben Cooper made an Alf costume,too!)
What is going on with those fiery eyes?
Ad content continues below
image source
12.
The Clown
Hey look!
And it isnt even the only Clown costume Ben Cooper mad.See this one?
Yeah, Michael Myers wore it in Rob Zombies version ofHalloween.
I rest my case.
Chuck Norris
Nothing is scarier in this world than Chuck Norris.
Who the hell would dress as Cop-Tur…or any Go Bot for that matter?
This costume reeks of disappointment and regret.
Troll
What the hell am I even looking at?
Look at the mug on the smock; imagine that leering into your bedroom window Halloween Eve.
Dracula: Hairy Scary
What can make Dracula scarier?
Clearly Ben Cooper thought it was a Mike Brady perm.
Look at that costume.
It has spider webs and it has a picture of a green faced Dracula that looksnothinglike the mask.
Nothing says undead like Ronnie James Dio hair.
That was one fugly vampire but Id still take it over those glittery turds fromTwilight.
It might be Casper, but the look on this restless spirits face is kind of insidious.
And whats with those lips?
Nothing about this ghost sits right with us.
Bigfoot
Nothing says Halloween like a cryptozoologic nightmare come to life.
The Bigfoot in that Saturday morning series was a hero, but this costume just reeks of potential cannibalism.
It looks like this bad boy should come with some mysterious spoor to track this mythological beast.
I wonder if they did a Wildboy, because what kidwouldntwant to be Wildboy?
One would imagine that poor kid didnt hold on to his pillow case full of candy for long.
Im sure some hipster will find this costume on etsy and ironically wear it to his ironic Halloween party.
Raggedy Ann
Look at those round eyes.
They hold the secrets to all the dark secrets of the unknown.
They have seen what exists behind the void.
Seriously, that mask would keep Squeaky Fromm awake.
The Devil
Aw look, doesnt little Billy look cute as the physical embodiment of evil?
Yeah, you probably shouldnt dress your kid up as the Antichrist, the Fallen One, the Morningstar.
Rambo
Theres a caveat on this one.
But if this is theFirst BloodRambo?
How screwed up is that?
How the hell would a mask stay on underwater?
Whoever insulted Aquaman in such a manner, Jason Momoa would have words with you.
Wait, is this supposed to be Aquaman on Halloween?
Like Aquaman wearing his own Halloween costume?
Whoa, how meta!
That Sleestak silk screened onto the chest piece ishuge!
And it looks like hes about to devour a family of tiny little cave dwellers.
Thats so tragic and very Darwinian.
Imagine a group of these little Sleestaks at your door, demanding Baby Ruths and Good and Plenty.
Ugh, I cant look at it any more.
Those poor cave people!
This article originally ran on October 27th, 2014.
It has returned from the grave to traumatize you once again.
