Yoda may be pushing up the galactic daisies these days.

So which movie characters do you go to now for sage advice?

Glad you asked…

Yoda, friends, is long gone from cinemas.

No longer can we rely on his sage advice to keep us on the straight and narrow.

Those words, however, come across as if theyre written with a fridge magnet poetry set.

Whether theyre clean or not, says The Chief.

WTF?, says the audience.

Brilliant, says Grant.

The headless chicken can only know where hes been.

He cant see where hes going, adds The Chief.

When Yodas not around, you simply sometimes have to make do.

When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.

He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.

Full of sage words like, Anger clouds the mind.

Oh, and how to do awful impressions of Sylvester Stallone, presumably.

Rumour has it that the Turtles are now entering middle age and morbidly obese.

JIMS DAD (Eugene Levy)The American Pie movies.

Every last one of them.

And, hes not a man afraid of the difficult conversations.

Take the moment where he talks to his son about the art of, er, making oneself happy.

Its like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun.

It can be fun, but its not a game, he explains.

What you want is a partner to return the ball.

Seriously, try it in Yodas voice.

He just couldnt do it.

The man is, simply, Yoda 1.5.

Theres one man whose words can cut through the chaff.

And some very bright spark cast the peerless Gary Cole to play him.

At the height of family tension, what does he say?

Wise words, friends.

By tattling on your friends, youre just telling them that youre a tattletale.

Now is that the tale you want to tell?

But when the gift the giver gives gives grief, then that gift should give the givee regrets.

The man is, clearly, a legend.

And Gary Coles delivery?

Yoda is to Luke as Lionel is to his Padawan Prince.

Even Lionels consultation rooms are as foreign to the Prince as Dagobah would be.

Lionel: his castle, his rules, his results.

As the Stranger (a perfectly cast Sam Elliott) puts it, The Dude abides.

I dont know about you, but I take comfort in that.

Its good knowin hes out there.

Takin er easy for all us sinners.

JOHNNY (William Duell)Police Squad!

For Johnny was always the go-to man for Drebin, the man with the vital piece of information.

The person whose mere words could suddenly turn a case around.

The man who seemed to know anything, provided you crossed his palm with paper.

No man in the movies is so self-assured.

None is so on top of his game.

And none is so willing to dish out pertinent lines of teaching at the exact moment theyre required.

Or his unrivalled ability to romance, and to paint idyllic pictures.

And we will dance… until the sun rises!

Even canines arent overlooked where the zen of Burgundy is concerned.

Youre so wise, he says to a pooch.

Youre like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.

Theres surely not a human being on the planet that couldnt learn something from the man.

Stay classy…

With thanks to @JamieHailstone and a bit of Buffy for the inspiration for this piece…