Do all world cinema releases have nudity in them?
Do characters really only speak in statements?
Nick dissects the top ten world cinema cliches…
Weve all been there.
Channel hopping late at night, you stumble across a foreign language film.
Youre intrigued, probably a little drunk, and not sure whether these types of films are for you.
To those already initiated, yo add your own pet favourite cliches below!
There will be a LOT of nudity.
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Yes, its the obvious.
Who hasnt put on an art house flick and secretly hoped for a bit of sex?
Theres a reason why these films are normally hidden away late at night.
Kept apart from the Puritan attitude and influence of Hollywood, nudity on screen has flourished in other countries.
In a gratuitous manner, too.
(Just dont ever admit to thinking that.
Its always artistically justified).
And gentlemen, c’mon be warned, its not just women at it.
There may be a few swinging items in the way.
Characters will only speak in statements.
So dont go around copying them to impress your friends.
Youll just sound like a dick.
In conjunction with this are characters tendencies to constantly engage in conversation…with themselves.
Time is a river which carries me along.
But I am time.
Its a tiger, tearing me apart; but I am the tiger.
That last bit is awesome.
Even if the plot is completely unintelligible, someone will claim you just didnt get it.
This is the true test of the world cinema aficionado.
Ive even joined in the pretence.
Dont be afraid to say so.
Example:The 1998 Yugoslav comedyBlack Cat, White Cat.
Its an award-winning film with glowing reviews all over the place.
It also makes no sense whatsoever.
And to those who argue its a feel-good absurdist comedy, thats a lazy excuse.
It didnt work for Bruce Willis inHudson Hawk.
One of the characters will have an obsession with Hollywood cinema.
Now it just seems awkward and embarrassing.
I dont care if your character has a quirky love forIts A Wonderful Life.
That doesnt count as characterisation!
In fact, that film probably has a lot of things to answer for in this list.
A previously well-regarded world cinema director will make an awful debut English language feature.
Jean-Pierre Jeunet andAlien: Resurrection.
Hes never been back since.
Example:You honestly cant do better thanHouse/Hausu.
Its had a recent Internet-driven revival, and should be pretty easy to track down.
Just dont come crying to me.
And, damn, they look cool.
I tried it once.
Example:Chow Yun Fat inABetter Tomorrow.
Although the fact hes also lighting his cigarette with a $100 bill probably helps.
If its a French film, Gerard Depardieuwillappear in it.
Seriously, this is a man who makes Samuel L. Jackson look workshy.
Appearing onscreen nearly 200 times throughout his career, Depardieu shows no signs of slowing down.
Yes, thats right 11 bloody projects.
There will be a cover of a hit English language song, usually in the films native language.
Youre watching a film rooted in another culture.
Youre seeing sights alien to you.
Then you hear a familiar refrain, which at first seems comforting but then disturbingly out-of-place in the context.
But you still go to sing along under your breath, except its in Cantonese.
Its a high-pitched Chinese girl singing your favourite song!
Its actually weirdly better.
Example:Faye Wongs cover of The CranberriesDreamsinChungkingExpress.
Success will inevitably be followed by a shit Hollywood remake starring Nicolas Cage.
Brought to my attention by a good friend, this last one is perhaps the most important.
Then you sob to yourself at night, Why didnt Scorsese remake this?
Example:BangkokDangerous, starring the one and only Cage.
